‘I’ll Send Every American a Stimulus Check of $1,400 As Soon As I Finish This Game of Monopoly’ Said President Biden While Playing a Month-Long Game of Monopoly

WASHINGTON – As many Americans continue to wait for a stimulus check, President Biden has recently announced his intent to sign an executive order for economic relief, including the $1,400, as soon as he finishes playing the game of monopoly he’s been playing for a month.

“I know Americans need help and I plan on doing it soon. It’s just I have this game of monopoly that needs my attention more than anything else. I promise to send some sort of help out as soon I’m done here,” said President Biden while concentrating on the boardgame for far too long.

“I’ve been playing against my wife Jill for a month straight and it’s been a doozy of a game for this long. If it doesn’t end by the end of 2021, I guess Americans will have to be on there own. We’ll see what happens.”