LOUISVILLE, KY – Local Budweiser aficionado Burt Cranberson claims he loves America more than anyone in the entire world. Cranberson wears nothing but red white and blue, MAGA clothing, and likes to refer to himself as a patriot constantly.
“I bleed red, white, and blue baby. I’m a full-blooded American through and through. This is the greatest country in the world and I love it so fucking much,” said Cranberson while having brisket for dinner for the 17th day in a row.
When reporters asked Cranberson why he flies a confederate flag on his truck, the flag of the people that literally fought against America, Cranberson stuttered out nonsense about how they were still part of America but were fighting against the government, even though none of that is remotely true.