Grocery Stores to Allow Immediate Execution Of Any Customer Who Tries Returning Something They Already Ate

 Grocery Stores to Allow Immediate Execution Of Any Customer Who Tries Returning Something They Already Ate

JAMESTOWN, NY – As a recent influx of customers have tried to return food they’ve already eaten for a refund, a new nation-wide law is allowing the immediate execution of any customer who tries returning something they already ate.


Any customer who goes to the customer service desk at a grocery store requesting a refund for a food product that’s half-eaten, used, or already opened, will be immediately shot or burnt alive by the employees of the grocery store. Customers who also promise that a worker ‘won’t get their business anymore’ will be castrated and hung for everyone to hit like a pinata.


“I’m really happy about this new law. These fucks have been horrible to us for years and now we can finally seek out some revenge whenever they try a quick scheme to get their money back. Fuck these old fucks,” said grocery store worker Sidney Torgan.


The new law is expected to wipe-out 70 to 80 percent of older white men and women above the age of 50. 

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.