‘Friends: The Reunion’ Viewership Statistics Allows Government to See Who is Worthy of Execution

LOS ANGELES – The 1990s sitcom Friends recently had a reunion special where the main cast revisited the sets of the original show, leading to a download bump for HBO Max and viewership statistics for the U.S. government to see who is worthy of execution.

The news comes after a study showed anyone who enjoys Friends not only has an awful taste in television but is worthy of execution as they don’t offer anything valuable to society.

“Friends is fucking terrible and as scummy as the government is, all Americans who don’t watch Friends will be proud to know we will execute every single person that watched that stupid reunion special,” said FBI Director Christopher A. Wray.