TAMPA BAY, FL – After destroying his friends in Ping Pong and bragging about it for days, a local Florida Ping Ponger unsurprisingly has a side hobby of killing the elderly for fun.
“The one day he beat us pretty badly and we noticed some blood on his hands. Without even guessing, we all figured he killed old people for fun since he’s so into ping pong. There’s no other explanation,” said fellow ping ponger Lee Smithson.
“I don’t get what the fuss is about. I work my ass off every day and when I have time to relax, I pong it out and kill some old people. Plus, no one really seems to care, it’s really fun to be honest,” said ping pong murderer Declin Powell.