Ford Pickup Trucks to Add Test That’ll Ensure Every Driver is a Douchebag Before Buying a Truck

DEARBORN, MI – To help guarantee every one of their drivers remains a douchebag, Ford Motor Company is adding a test that’ll ensure every driver is a douchebag before they’re allowed to purchase a truck. The test will be referred to as the You Have to be a Dick to Own a Truck Test. 

“We’re very excited to continue the guarantee that every Ford Pickup Truck owner will be a douchebag. We believe in carrying on the tradition that if you own a truck, you are nothing but a big piece of shit to everyone around you,” said Ford Motor Company CEO Jim Farley.

“If you own a truck, you have to tailgate and honk at people even if you don’t have to. That’s the point of owning a truck. We don’t want nice people owning trucks, only absolute pieces of garbage.”