Doctor Fauci Announces If All Americans Choose to Die in a Tragic Accident, No One Will Have to Worry About Getting a Sore Arm From a Vaccine

WASHINGTON – With the distribution of the COVID-19 vaccine expected to hit across the country in the upcoming months, many Americans are worried about potential side effects from the vaccine, such as a sore arm.

To help clarify people’s concerns about getting a sore arm from the vaccine, Doctor Fauci recently announced that if Americans chose to die right now, no citizen will have to worry about getting a potential sore arm from the vaccine.

“Rather than worry about getting a sore arm, let’s all sit around and promise to make a suicide pact together. If we can all do this, then we won’t have to deal with the annoyance of a sore arm,” said Fauci.

“I understand the need for a vaccine, but I hate shots and having a sore arm from it. Thankfully, if we all follow through we Fauci’s plan, all of us can die without having to get an annoying shot,” said local man Todd Fellow.