College Student Buys Philosophy Books to Impress Roommate Despite Only Ever Reading ‘Captain Underpants’ Before

ERIE, PA – While enjoying the winter break at Gannon University, a local college student reportedly bought philosophy books to impress his roommate, even though he hasn’t read a book since reading Captain Underpants in 4th grade.

“Yeah, I haven’t read in a long time, but I figured some philosophy books would go a long way in showing people how smart I am. I’m never going to read them, but the idea of hanging them on my shelf while I zoom my roommate is great,” said college student Connor Smithson.

“Hopefully, he doesn’t ask me any questions or stuff, otherwise I’ll panic and make up a bunch of stuff. Oh well, I guess we’ll see what happens and if it’ll go well or not, but who knows. Fingers crossed!”