BUFFALO, NY – Byron Brown, the Mayor of the City of Buffalo, has announced that any house in the city that doesn’t have their Christmas decorations taken down and put away by tomorrow at noon will be evicted from their homes and have all of their belongings taken from them.
“I just find it ridiculous that we are approaching mid-January and there seem to be more houses with Christmas decorations still up than houses with their decorations taken down,” said the Mayor.
“If you are too much of a lazy fuck to put your Christmas decorations away within a few days after the holidays, then you don’t deserve to live in a house. You can go fuck off and freeze to death.”
Most houses are expected to keep their decorations up despite this order as Americans are extremely lazy.