BOSTON, MA – Local rich douchebag Tommy Ballsak is disgusted with President Joe Biden’s student loan forgiveness program, which includes debt forgiveness for some borrowers and extends the pandemic-related payment pause.   “It’s so bad that this is allowed to happen. It’s an insult to every hard-working person out there who does things right and […]Read More

ATHENS, GA – Local hot dog vendor Gerry Manders reportedly loves the recent Supreme Court rulings and hopes they overturn gay marriage next. “It’s about time they get rid of the right to gay marriage. It’s so wrong that it is allowed. Marriage is between a man and a woman, and that’s it,” said the […]Read More

LITTLE ROCK, AK – Local man Fred Hurnkern believes that he and everyone else in the United State were better off when Donald Trump was president a couple of years ago instead of today under Biden even though Hurnkern was just as poor and worked the same shit job then as he does now. “This […]Read More

AMERICA – As Independence Day festivities conclude (which include getting wasted on domestic light beers, shoveling as much processed meats into your gullet as possible, and blowing off worthless fireworks), there doesn’t seem to be much to celebrate in this stupid fucking country.   Conservatives are quick to celebrate this stupid ass holiday despite all […]Read More

WASHINGTON – As Republicans revel in the Supreme Court’s ruling to overturn Roe v. Wade, their hypocrisy knows no bounds as they continue to claim they believe in small government when it comes to gun control and free speech while doing the opposite with basic human rights. “The first and second amendments protect Americans and […]Read More

WASHINGTON – With the recent news of Roe v. Wade being overturned, local American masochist Ronnie Da, 37, is reportedly excited to see how awful the U.S. can become. Masochists like Da are rejoicing across the country because of how truly terrible the U.S. is becoming. Though the nation has never been great, it’s becoming […]Read More

WASHINGTON – With the U.S. Supreme Court overturning a person’s right to an abortion on Friday, the U.S. is expected to ban everything that is good and decent within a few years. “You know folks, there’s nothing we can do. You should just expect us to do anything and for this place to only get […]Read More

WASHINGTON – A growing number of Republican members of Congress and the Senate are suggesting a new way to prevent abortions from taking place: arming fetuses with guns so they can shoot the abortion doctor that’s trying to take them out. “For too long we just try to stop the evil abortion doctors and evil […]Read More

WASHINGTON – The Senate announced a bipartisan agreement on Gun control that as expected, does very little and falls woefully short on what really needs to be done. “Today is a monumental day as we have come to an agreement to limit gun purchases to 50 guns max per person and agreed that only 18-year-olds […]Read More