CANCUN, MX – Senator Ted Cruz is off to Cancun again today after finding out the fictional character Big Bird from the show Sesame Street announced that he received the COVID-19 vaccine. “How dare Big Bird get vaccinated. Sure, my entire family and I are vaccinated, but I’m still guna act outraged for political purposes […]Read More
RICHMOND, VA – Local man Johnny Kansas is pissed at the results of some of the elections in his area even though he didn’t even vote in the election. “I’m so pissed off about the results of the election. People are so stupid for voting for these idiots. Sure I didn’t vote, but at least […]Read More
WASHINGTON – The supreme court will hear arguments in a gun rights case that could lead to more guns on the streets of New York and California, affecting restrictions on carrying firearms in airports, bars, churches, and schools. The potential change is seen as no big deal in the United States since the country is […]Read More
BOISE, ID – Local turnip salesman Donnie Christmas is disgusted with how high gas prices have been rising, stating citizens only have President Biden to blame. “I bet all the idiots that voted for Biden are regretting it now and they are paying for it at the pump. It’s ridiculous how much I’m paying for […]Read More
WASHINGTON – Annoying asshole Senator Joe Manchin has reportedly been discussing the possibility of leaving the Democratic Party if he doesn’t get his way on the current infrastructure bill being debated between the White House and the Senate. Manchin is hoping the threat will scare his Democratic colleagues into giving him what he wants on […]Read More
WASHINGTON – The perennial hypocritical Republicans are at it again, stating they won’t vote to raise the debt ceiling, claiming the country can’t afford to do that. The news comes after Republicans raised the debt ceiling by almost 7.8 trillion in the last four years under the Trump Administration. “We just can’t afford to raise […]Read More
WASHINGTON – Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen warned that the U.S. Government will likely run out of cash by October 18 unless Congress raises the debt ceiling. The news comes with no possible solution, including the many billionaires in the U.S. who could be taxed to quickly fix the issue, but making the ultra-wealthy pay their […]Read More
WASHINGTON – The U.S. House of Representatives recently passed a measure to give $1 billion in new funding for Israel’s Iron Dome missile defense system, highlighting the U.S. has more than enough money for the military-industrial complex, but none for its citizens. “We understand that people are struggling are right now, but what better way […]Read More
LINCOLN, NE – Local construction worker Robbie Weenus cannot stand President Joe Biden, claiming his actions regarding Vaccine mandates this week are the last straw. President Biden announced that all employers in the country with more than 100 employees must require their employees to be vaccinated or to get tested weekly. Reporters initially thought Weenus […]Read More
BATAVIA, NY – Local man Ted Gorgentroth has over a dozen variations of ‘Cuomo Must Go’ bumper stickers on his truck but now that the former governor is gone from office, after numerous accusations of sexual assault were brought to fruition, Gorgentroth doesn’t know what to do with his life. “I just love my […]Read More
