BOSTON, MA – The farmer’s almanac, an annual periodical that provides long-range weather predictions for the U.S. is an archaic and widely inaccurate method of predicting how the winter will be every year. Regardless, countless Americans read the farmer’s almanac, believing what it says, constantly quoting it to any friends and family who will listen […]Read More
AMERICA – As we approach yet another Columbus Day, it’s time to reflect on how fucking stupid it is that we still celebrate this day in America. Christopher Columbus was an explorer who sailed across the Atlantic multiple times and Americans are brainwashed in school by being taught that he discovered the Americas. In reality, […]Read More
WASHINGTON – The ongoing notion of a neighbor being a great neighbor by being friendly and helpful is the contrary of what Sad Carrot News believes to be a quote-on-quote good neighbor. In reality, the best neighbor is the neighbor you never meet, leave everyone the fuck alone and mind your own business. “I don’t […]Read More
AMERICA – Just a quick opinion piece to let everyone know why the 4th of July is the stupidest fucking holiday of the year in this country we call America. It isn’t celebrated to recognize when we declared independence from Great Britain. Instead, it’s been twisted into this cult-like praise and yearly party of loving […]Read More
WASHINGTON – As texting trends change throughout time, one thing is for certain: anyone who still texts “xD” or “:P” should be tried for crimes against humanity. It’s a disgusting repugnant act that is a significant portion of everything wrong with humanity. Rightful execution is only applicable to those who still text the disturbing and […]Read More
YELLOWSTONE, WY – As 2020 begins to dwindle to an end, many Americans are feeling out of hope with the recent 2020 election debates, no government stimulus in sight, and countless other dreadful realities plaguing the country. As a result, many Americans are seemingly agreeing that the Yellowstone Caldera Eruption is very preferable compared to […]Read More
BOISE, ID – Nothing is more infuriating than having a long pointless day with a random occurrence of going on Facebook to randomly stumble upon some random person sharing their bowling score. No one should be proud of sharing a bowling score, why does it matter? This opinion comes after a local Boise petition is […]Read More
With the abundance of hot weather upon us, it makes it more of a dejected reality with every sighting of a person who wears a beanie while it’s hot out. Yes, it’s indeed true that beanies make you look ‘cool’, but these scums that walk the earth while wearing a beanie in hot weather defeat […]Read More
EARTH – After walking through the neighborhood and hearing a dejected conversation between two friends discuss their love for kombucha, I stopped in my tracks. What kind of wasteful breed of humans could claim their love for such a purely disgusting drink? They’ll claim it’s for health benefits, but you can’t even drink more than […]Read More
BUFFALO, NY – What’s the matter with people and their infatuation with Target, it’s essentially a slightly better Walmart. Target is a replication of materialism at it’s worse. It’s a smaller Walmart with red paint to make it seem ideal for people to shop in. Not to mention the horrendously appalling fast food served near […]Read More
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