WILMINGTON, NC – Local Ford truck salesman Bobby Bullskank doesn’t just love Ford trucks, but also has a deep love for guns, owning over a dozen firearms. Bullskank also doesn’t ever actually shoot his guns but loves cleaning and staring at them. “Owning as many guns as we want is our second amendment right. Every […]Read More
ERIE, PA – A local Erie woman remembered why she hates corn on the cob, a cooked ear of freshly picked maize from a cultivar of sweet corn, after spending 72 hours doing nothing but flossing. “It was just terrible. I took a big bite and was pleased to eat a bunch of corn with […]Read More
DES MOINES, IA – Local man Johnny Friendly was very excited at his recent doctor’s appointment after being diagnosed with adult onset diabetes. Unlike most people who would be upset with the bad news, Mr. Friendly confused the diagnosis to eat candy when his sugar drops. “I’ve always loved eating sweets but always felt […]Read More
SEATTLE, WA – A local Seattle man routinely refers to negative events on Monday as being just the case of the Mondays, even though his life sucks every day, not just Monday. “I hate Mondays, they tend to suck the most out of any day. Sure, my life sucks every other day of the week, […]Read More
BATON ROUGE, LA – A local man is upset and confused today after he came home from work and found his pet tiger, Marbles, eating his wife and 3 kids. The Harold family reportedly bought the tiger when it was a cub to be a family pet since America is ridiculously absurd and somehow allows […]Read More
KNOXVILLE, TN – Local pastor of Growing Long and Hard for Jesus Christ Parish Church, Ronald Gorgetroth, is sick and tired of what he refers to as the genocide of abortion in the United States. “The murder of unborn babies needs to stop. This genocide is against the word of Jesus Christ, is an immortal […]Read More
LINCOLN, NE – A local Lincoln man is reportedly thinking fondly of simpler times when he and his friend murdered hitchhikers for fun. “Ah, I remember back in the day when Larry and I would head out with a smile on our face and kill a bunch of strange hitchhikers. Those were the times,” said […]Read More
PORTLAND, OR – A local bank robbery went wrong after the bank robber realized robbing banks is nothing like the movies. “I was really excited to rob a bank like the Joker did in the Dark Knight, but it ended up not working. They just do what you say and cops quickly come. It’s not […]Read More
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Local man, Chad Dummfuk, has died today after dropping a potato skin on a cup of rat poison and eating it anyways after yelling out the 5-second rule. No one really seems to know why there was a random cup of rat poison on the ground in the kitchen but Dummfuk’s wife […]Read More
ERIE, PA – Local man Roger Bong decided to throw an extra-large 4th of July party after not having one in 2020 due to the ongoing pandemic. Bong invited over 200 people and bought over $100,000 worth of fireworks. After spending every penny to his name on fireworks and missing his last few mortgage payments, […]Read More
