PHOENIX, AZ – Local woman Katie Geraldine is six months pregnant with her first child, but the number of random people giving her stupid pregnancy tips that she doesn’t want to hear drives her mad. “I swear if one more random person at work, or a random family member, or even a random person I […]Read More

NEW YORK CITY – Local man Jay Konnie, 28, reportedly purchased a plane ticket at New York’s John F. Kennedy International to hang out in the food court. “People ask me what I want to do; truthfully, I just want to hang out in the food court with people at the airport. It’s fun and […]Read More

NEW YORK CITY – Local cryptocurrency investor Jex Biles, 29, is reportedly the worst person ever, a correlation that is no surprise since he’s involved with cryptocurrency. “I love investing in cryptocurrency. Not because I make money from it, but because it’s fun to talk about,” said Biles. There are countless people like Biles, most […]Read More

MYRTLE BEACH, SC – A local beach vacation for New Yorkers Macy and Todd Philips reportedly went terribly wrong after the couple realized there were other people on the beach. “Whenever I think of a beach, I think of a movie scene where it’s people on a secluded beach hanging out. Boy was I wrong,” […]Read More

LOS ANGELES, CA – Local Advanced Auto Store Manager Larry Cucklik is sick of seeing homeless people living on the streets of his city and reportedly thinks they’re all lazy. “These homeless people just expect everything to be handed to them. They are all lazy and don’t want to work for a thing. They need […]Read More

KANSAS CITY, MI – Local Kansas City man Todd Deftom, 32, reportedly likes Burger King more than the average person, and no one is sure why. Deftom told reporters that he visits Burger King every day after work with no apparent reason why. Reporters were so dumbfounded, they didn’t speak for weeks. “I love Burger […]Read More

ANAHEIM, CA – Local woman Sandy Shore, 34, is reportedly thankful to only get seven infections and viruses after a waterpark vacation to the Great Wolf Lodge with her family. “I’m so blessed to only get seven severe infections and viruses from this waterpark vacation. I was worried I’d hit double-digits, but instead, it was […]Read More

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local man Jim Jenny is reportedly unsure how he became a chiropractor, a healthcare profession that cares for a patient’s neuromusculoskeletal system. “One day, I started cracking people’s backs and next thing I knew, I had this business that people go to for no real reason. I think they like the […]Read More

PROVIDENCE, RI – The expression that humans need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps is a representation of how overworked Americans are.  More recently, a study from Brown University confirmed that anyone who is excited about overworking is a sociopath, and any interactions with that person should be kept to a minimum. “If someone […]Read More