NEW YORK CITY – Local Yankees fan Rodney Soll, 32, is reportedly excited to hate himself and his favorite MLB team, the New York Yankees, for the next several months until he gets overly excited again for spring training in February 2023. The report comes after the Yankees got Swept by the Houston Astros in […]Read More
DALLAS, TX – Local man Ted Torso is very excited for the Cowboys season to start up this season so he and his buds can go to all the games and blow their life savings getting wasted on extremely overpriced shit beer at the stadium. “It’s just a great time, ya know. My boys and […]Read More
LOS ANGELES – Marvel announced 12 titles for Phase 5 at San Diego Comic-Con this past Saturday, promising nothing but shitty movies, exciting Marvel fans across the globe. Although fans are waiting for Phase 4 to conclude in 2023, the fifth phase has gotten many eager about the future of the shit films. Phase 4 […]Read More
DALLAS, TX – It’s been confirmed that Elon Musk is not an actual human but a human husk controlled by an alien living inside of him. The report was confirmed after recent pictures of Musk with no shirt on showed that there was no chance he was an actual human with how fucked he looked. […]Read More
AUSTIN, TX – Local podcast and comedian fan Jason Terry, 31, is confused why the insanely wealthy comic and podcaster Joe Rogan is seemingly out of touch compared to how he was years ago. The report comes as many are calling Rogan out of touch, with recent videos of the comedian and podcaster confused about […]Read More
LOS ANGELES – With news that Lady Gaga is allegedly in early talks to star as Harley Quinn alongside Joaquin Phoenix in a sequel to 2019’s Joker as a musical, further speculation hints that it’ll be a direct sequel to 2016’s La La Land. Joker tells the story of a mentally troubled stand-up comedian embarking […]Read More
BOZEMAN, MT – Local man Todd Ferkmunky was pissed today after one of his favorite bands, Pearl Jam, announced a massive 64-date tour for later this year that wasn’t stopping in his small city in the middle of fucking nowhere Montana. “I’m so pissed off. Countless tours over the years and they never come to […]Read More
ORLANDO, FL – A new study from the University of Central Florida has confirmed that a Disney fanatic, a person who is able to shut out the rest of the world for Disney, is the worst person alive. “We know these fuckers around the globe and they are by far the worst people alive. I […]Read More
AMERICA – Musicians and music industry professionals all across America are in mourning today at the news that Ted Nugent hasn’t died yet and is still alive. Nugent, the massive piece of human filth and pedophile, is known for his extreme right-wing views and racist, islamophobic, and homophobic rhetoric. “I woke up this morning and […]Read More
LOS ANGELES – Local Marvel fanatic, Jerry Joe, 31, is reportedly shocked there’s a post-credit scene in the latest MCU film Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, even though there are post-credit scenes in every Marvel film. “I can’t believe there was a post-credit scene in this movie! I know they have them in […]Read More
