Black Friday Shopper Hopes to Infect Others With COVID-19 to Help Eliminate Competition for Getting a 32-Inch TV 25% Off

DALLAS, TX – With the shopping holiday of Black Friday around the corner, many shoppers look forward to saving a few bucks on gifts for the upcoming holiday season, while hoping to stay safe during the ongoing pandemic.

However, one Dallas shopper plans on infecting other shoppers with COVID-19 leading up to Black Friday, with the hope to eliminate the competition of people interested in getting a 32-inch television 25% off.

“As devastating as this pandemic is, it can be very useful for me as I try to save a few bucks on a television. If I can kill all these fuckers or get them wounded, I can go right in line and easily get my television at a slight discount,” said local shopper Linda Strawberry.

“I had a bunch of people I know with the rona’ cough into this jug which I plan on letting out in every store. Then, once I need more jugs, I go back and have them cough in it again. It’s very simple.”