Bill Gates Looking For New Companion That Doesn’t Mind His Interest in Underage Sex Dungeons

MEDINA, WA – Microsoft founder Bill Gates and his wife, Melinda, recently announced they’re filing for divorce, with Gates declaring that he’s looking for a new companion that doesn’t mind his interest in underage sex dungeons.

“Yeah, I’m kinda bummed Melinda and I are getting divorced, but that’s the way marriages go. I’m hoping to find someone who doesn’t mind my kinks, especially when I hang out at underage sex dungeons,” said Gates.

“Bill is a magnificent man, but our marriage must come to an end. I’m looking for someone with simpler tastes like wine or boating instead of sex cults and things of that nature,” said Melinda.