American Defends Inflated Military Budget ‘Why Would I Want Free Healthcare, Education, and Better Roads When Our Government Can Bomb Stuff?’

DALLAS, TX – Local Texas man John Elvis, 39, is defending the United States’ military budget, claiming the budget is worth it so the nation can bomb countries instead of guaranteeing every citizen free healthcare, education, and better roads.

“Why would I want this country to be better for every citizen when I can cheer on our military like it’s a sports team? That’s the real fun,” said Elvis.

Elvis is unsure about why he defends the U.S. tirelessly, other than being born into blind patriotism for a country that does nothing for its citizens outside of pointless platitudes.