LITTLE ROCK, AK – Ronnie Porchbrisket, age 56, has been refusing steadfastly to get a COVID-19 vaccine until President Biden announced that any adult getting vaccinated gets a free shitty Bud Light.
“I never thought I’d be the one getting the vaccine but they finally roped me in with that free beer. It’s the first good thing sleepy Joe has done so far. I drink like 12 Bud Lights a day so I’ll pretty much do anything to get a free one,” said Porchbrisket.
President Biden is reportedly going to be hosting an all-you-can-eat beef and pork vaccine buffet next to try and convince some more vaccine skeptics to get vaccinated.