Man Excited to Get Wasted On St. Patrick’s Day Even Though He Already Gets Wasted Every Other Day of the Year

BOSTON, MA – Kevin Guinness’s favorite holiday of the year, St. Patrick’s Day, is approaching, with Guinness claiming he can’t wait to get wasted on it this year even though he gets wasted every other day of the year already.

“I really just can’t wait to get fucked up hard on St. Patty’s Day this year. It’s the best day of the year for that. I can’t wait to blackout and wake up the next day in a ditch. It’s just so festive,” said the clearly inebriated Guinness.

When asked how getting drunk on 20-plus Coors Lite on St. Patrick’s Day is any different than every other day of the year when he does that, Guinness stated that the bar he goes to every day puts green food dye in the beer this one day a year, so that makes it very different.

If you or a loved one are struggling with a Coors Lite addiction, then you’re fucked and there’s no hope for you.