DALLAS, TX – A local aging teenager is reportedly starting to realize weekends suck just as much as any other day since life is a meaningless void that doesn’t offer any sort of substance aside from fatality.
“As a kid, I would always get excited about the weekends since it’s some time off of a school. Now that I’m almost 18, I’m beginning to realize every day sucks since life blows,” said teenager Jacob Weer.
“I’m really proud of my son. It took him longer than me, but he finally got to the point of realizing everything sucks and there’s no hope. It brings tears to my eyes,” said Jacob’s father Larry.