No One Really Sure How TableTop Game Store Remains Open

PHOENIX, AZ – A recent report from the University of Phoenix shows that no one is really sure how TableTop Game Store, Games and Stuff, is a successful business despite only selling TableTop games. TableTop refers to a game in which all players are seated around a table interacting with each other directly. It focuses […]Read More

Independence Day, a Day For Conservatives To Celebrate Women In This Country Receiving Less and Less Independence

AMERICA – As Independence Day festivities conclude (which include getting wasted on domestic light beers, shoveling as much processed meats into your gullet as possible, and blowing off worthless fireworks), there doesn’t seem to be much to celebrate in this stupid fucking country.   Conservatives are quick to celebrate this stupid ass holiday despite all […]Read More

Americans Prepare to Celebrate Dumbest Holiday of Year

WASHINGTON – Americans across the nation are preparing to celebrate the dumbest holiday of the year, the Fourth of July. “I can’t wait to get together and celebrate the fourth. I’m not sure why this day is important to me, but I love getting fucked up with my family,” said American Johnny Jesse. “Though I […]Read More

‘The Government Needs To Stay Away From People’s Gun Rights and Right To Free Speech’ Says American Who Wants to Take Away Basic Human Rights

WASHINGTON – As Republicans revel in the Supreme Court’s ruling to overturn Roe v. Wade, their hypocrisy knows no bounds as they continue to claim they believe in small government when it comes to gun control and free speech while doing the opposite with basic human rights. “The first and second amendments protect Americans and […]Read More

American Masochist Looks Forward to Seeing How Awful U.S. Can Become

WASHINGTON – With the recent news of Roe v. Wade being overturned, local American masochist Ronnie Da, 37, is reportedly excited to see how awful the U.S. can become. Masochists like Da are rejoicing across the country because of how truly terrible the U.S. is becoming. Though the nation has never been great, it’s becoming […]Read More

Republicans Suggest Arming Fetuses So They Can Shoot Abortion Doctors

WASHINGTON – A growing number of Republican members of Congress and the Senate are suggesting a new way to prevent abortions from taking place: arming fetuses with guns so they can shoot the abortion doctor that’s trying to take them out. “For too long we just try to stop the evil abortion doctors and evil […]Read More

Guy Likes Burger King More than He Should

KANSAS CITY, MI – Local Kansas City man Todd Deftom, 32, reportedly likes Burger King more than the average person, and no one is sure why. Deftom told reporters that he visits Burger King every day after work with no apparent reason why. Reporters were so dumbfounded, they didn’t speak for weeks. “I love Burger […]Read More