PHILADELPHIA, PA – A Philadelphia couple reportedly assured their friends and family that their constant fighting and wanting to kill one another is perfectly normal. The couple, Jane and Larry, get into fights every day, threaten each other with violence, and have come close to killing one another, all of which they say demonstrates how […]Read More
LITTLE ROCK, AK – A local car show turned from a stupid hobby to an all-out rated R shit show yesterday as upwards of 100 men started having sex with each other and their cars. What started as a gathering of men and their cars quickly turned into full-on debauchery after two men started having […]Read More
WILMINGTON, NC – Local Ford truck salesman Bobby Bullskank doesn’t just love Ford trucks, but also has a deep love for guns, owning over a dozen firearms. Bullskank also doesn’t ever actually shoot his guns but loves cleaning and staring at them. “Owning as many guns as we want is our second amendment right. Every […]Read More
ERIE, PA – A local Erie woman remembered why she hates corn on the cob, a cooked ear of freshly picked maize from a cultivar of sweet corn, after spending 72 hours doing nothing but flossing. “It was just terrible. I took a big bite and was pleased to eat a bunch of corn with […]Read More
TOLEDO, OH – Local self-proclaimed moderate, George Dipslipper, isn’t a fan of Joe Biden, but isn’t a fan of Trump either. A rare Republican who voted for Biden, Dipslipper hopes people like Senator Mitt Romney can steer his party away from Trump and back to what he calls true Republicanism. “I just admire people like […]Read More
PHOENIX, AZ – Some NFL players are angry after the league issued a memo informing all 32 teams that any COVID-19 outbreaks among unvaccinated players could result in the forfeiture of games and loss of play. The report comes with some NFL players threatening to retire if forced to get vaccinated against a deadly virus […]Read More
TOKYO – A local Olympic athlete can’t wait to get paid in recognition by the multibillion-dollar Olympic committee, claiming nothing puts a smile on their face more than a corporation not paying the reason people tune in. “Being on television for these few weeks will show everyone who I am as an athlete. Sure, the […]Read More
JERSEY CITY, NJ – A local New Jersey woman is contemplating dumping her boyfriend after discovering her boyfriend doesn’t under the plot of the 1985 Sci-Fi classic Back to the Future. “I don’t understand how anyone can’t understand the plot of this movie. He gets stuck in the past so now he needs to […]Read More
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – A local man has started a GoFundMe, an American for-profit crowdfunding platform, to raise money to bribe a country to shoot down Jeff Bezos’ spaceship. The GoFundMe has exceeded its goal, raising nearly a billion dollars in 14 hours. “Last week it’s that piece of shit Branson going to space and […]Read More
DES MOINES, IA – Local man Johnny Friendly was very excited at his recent doctor’s appointment after being diagnosed with adult onset diabetes. Unlike most people who would be upset with the bad news, Mr. Friendly confused the diagnosis to eat candy when his sugar drops. “I’ve always loved eating sweets but always felt […]Read More
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