Giant Orgy Breaks Out at Car Show ‘Cars Just Get Me Goin’

LITTLE ROCK, AK – A local car show turned from a stupid hobby to an all-out rated R shit show yesterday as upwards of 100 men started having sex with each other and their cars. What started as a gathering of men and their cars quickly turned into full-on debauchery after two men started having […]Read More

Man Starts GoFundMe to Shoot Down Jeff Bezos’ Spaceship

MINNEAPOLIS, MN – A local man has started a GoFundMe, an American for-profit crowdfunding platform, to raise money to bribe a country to shoot down Jeff Bezos’ spaceship. The GoFundMe has exceeded its goal, raising nearly a billion dollars in 14 hours.   “Last week it’s that piece of shit Branson going to space and […]Read More

Man Confusingly Excited to Eat Candy When Sugar Drops

DES MOINES, IA – Local man Johnny Friendly was very excited at his recent doctor’s appointment after being diagnosed with adult onset diabetes. Unlike most people who would be upset with the bad news, Mr. Friendly confused the diagnosis to eat candy when his sugar drops.   “I’ve always loved eating sweets but always felt […]Read More