Natural Skeptic Leads Down Rabbit Hole Discovering U.S. is Utter Shit

WASHINGTON – Local skeptic Bill Nelson, 31, reportedly went down the rabbit hole of discovering the U.S. is utter shit, comparing the average U.S. citizen’s livelihood and quality of life to citizens of other nations. “I always thought this country was pretty lit but turns out if you just look up some stuff from history, […]Read More

Reason 10,511,879 America is Fucking Stupid: We Still Celebrate Columbus Day

AMERICA – As we approach yet another Columbus Day, it’s time to reflect on how fucking stupid it is that we still celebrate this day in America. Christopher Columbus was an explorer who sailed across the Atlantic multiple times and Americans are brainwashed in school by being taught that he discovered the Americas.  In reality, […]Read More

Man Gets Into the Halloween Spirit, Going On Murderous Rampage Killing Seven

BOSTON, MA – Local Halloween fanatic Jason Johnny, 27, reportedly got into the Halloween spirit, going on a murderous rampage killing seven and injuring 13. Reports show Johnny dressed up like Michael Myers from the iconic film franchise Halloween, and drove around town looking for people to stab. Finally, after a night of avoiding police, […]Read More

Husband and Wife Duel to Decide Who Has Control Over Thermostat

ALBANY, NY – Husband and wife Lonnie and Connie Crotch feel like they have a strong relationship but are constantly fighting over the temperature in their house. After coming home to a sweltering 80-degree house with the heat blasting, Lonnie officially challenged his wife to a duel, with the winner being able to control the […]Read More

Mark Zuckerberg Considers Nuking Entire Planet to Save Facebook’s Reputation

WASHINGTON – After Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen told the Senate that Congress should intervene to solve the crisis created by her former employer’s products, Mark Zuckerberg has been considering nuking the entire planet to save Facebook’s reputation. The report comes after Haugen broke the news that Facebook consistently puts its own profits over users’ health […]Read More

‘I’m Just Not Getting the Covid Vaccine Cuz We Just Don’t Know What’s In It’ Says Guy Who’s Received Many Other Vaccines, Shots, and Medicine in Life and Has No Idea What’s in Any of Those

RICHMOND, VA – Local furby collector Gerry Sphincter is refusing to get the COVID-19 vaccine despite the deadly potential alternative, claiming we don’t know what’s in the vaccine. “It’s just such a risk ya know. I don’t wanna put anything in my body that could potentially do any harm. We just don’t know what’s in […]Read More