Senator Joe Manchin Announces That He’s So Moderate That He’ll Never Vote Yes on Any Senate Proposal Ever Again as It’ll Always be Either Too Conservative or Too Progressive

WASHINGTON – Senator Joe Manchin of West Virginia announced today that he’ll never vote yes on any Senate proposal ever again as whatever is proposed will always be too conservative or too progressive for him to vote yes on. “I represent the good people of West Virginia and what those people need most is nothing […]Read More

‘This Widespread Cold Front and Snow Hitting the United States Proves that Global Warming Isn’t Real’ Says Man Who Failed His High School Science Class

HOUSTON, TX – With the United States in the midst of a massive cold front and widespread snow and ice storms causing millions without power or running water, one local Houston man claims these events prove that global warming (or climate change as it should be referred to) doesn’t exist. “Yeah I mean the Democrats […]Read More

‘I Don’t Understand Why People Who Lost Power and are Freezing in Texas Don’t Just Go To Cancun Like I Did’ Says Cut Off From Reality Senator Ted Cruz

AUSTIN, TX – Senator Ted Cruz is receiving scathing criticism for leaving his home state of Texas during the massive cold-weather crisis that the state is experiencing.  Millions are without power, water, and food and at least 56 people have died thus far but Senator Cruz reportedly doesn’t see what the big deal is for […]Read More